Maybe too sexist/downright awful?
I'm against abortion... It's not that I'm against killing babies, I just don't think women should be making choices.
@psychedelicfish this goes straight into the server
Whats a blode girl with coloured hair to brunette? - Faked inteligence.
What does a blond girl do in boat with a hole where water flows inside? - She makes another hole, so the water can flow out.
@DON awesome, but I'm afraid it will not fit in one line for the server
Hehe, anyway I got two other jokes:
- Why are girls bringing a leadder to the store? Because they heard that prices are high
- whats a bag in the ocean filled with a dead woman body? - waste of space, there would fit at least two corps.
May I suggest an additional category for jokes too long for the server? I have a few better ones, but they are way too long for the server
@DON That's ok, just post all the jokes here
It's the first day in a monastery for Frank. Another monk is showing Frank the site.
The monk says: "Here is our Relaxing area. You can have a walk in the park, sit by the river, enjoy the peace everyday, all day long except Thursday."
Frank says: "Very nice, I like that"
- They keep going
The monk says: " Here is our sports site. You can play tennis, golf, visit the gym. Everyday, all day long except Thursday."
Frank says: " Great! This will make a good balance"
- They keep going inside
The monk says: " Here we have our spa. You can use the whirlpool, sauna, have a massage. Everyday, all day long except Thursday."
Frank says: "wonderful I can't wait spending my time here."
The monk says: " And now we're going upstairs. Here in that wardrobe, you can go inside and stick your penis inside that hole and you will get a blow job. Everyday and all day, except Thursday."
Frank says:" Wow its getting better and better. But I have one question - Why can't I do these things on Thursday?
The monk says: " Because on Thursday it's your shift in the wardrobe."
- They keep going
And now to get far below the belt :
Little Amy is going to her father and bagging him for permission to go out:
Amy: "Daddy, daddy! Please may I go out to the cinema, please?!?"
Dad says:" No way, its almost nine!"
"But daddy, daddy, all my friends are going too! Daddy, please!"
Dad says:" No, this is my final answer"
"But daddy, please. I will do everything, I swear!"
Dad says: " Hmmm.... ok. As you want that so much you may go to the cinema with your friends, but only if you give me a blow job...."
The daughter gives her dad a blow. after 10 minutes she has finished and asking her daddy:
"But daddy, why was you penis smelling like shit?"
Dad says: " Thats because your brother wanted to go to the disco."
@DON FOR FUCKS SAKE
"WHY DID YOU ESCAPE from prison?" a policeman asks the jail-breaker.
"I wanted to get married." - "You have quite a strange view of freedom."
What is the difference between black humor and food? - Not everybody gets it.
What's the difference between a woman coming out of the shower and one coming out of the church? - One has a whole soul of hope and the other one a hole full of soap.
A priest hears somebody's confession about anal sex. Since the priest is new in this parish, he asks one of the altar boys about the old priest's judgment about such a matter.
The altar boy: "Well, he would always give us a few bucks and a chocolate-stick."
Why do women have 2 more genes than horses? - Otherwise they would drink the water out of the cleaning bucket.
Why do men have 2 more genes than pigs? - Otherwise their tail would curl.
She: "Honey, what do you like better - my perfect body or my beautiful face?"
He: "Your sense of humor."
The worst penalty for bigamy is to have two mothers-in-law.
A lawyer: "When I was born, the doctor spanked me! - I bet I can manage to get him in jail for sexual harassment!"
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
The man replies: "Boobs!"