I am so sad, pasta land, you gott all my love and support! i can donate $1 to your social DDoS prevention.

Alright bitches and faggots, I put on my grammar-phone and poured me a fine glass of juice and are prepared to answer all your questions. I don't know how this normally works, as i despise not only fucking imbeciles, but also social media platforms, so I just start with a short introduction about myself.

Hello, I'm Star, I started this game as SomePornostar, yes that's a fucking o between Porn and star, because it is a fucking german word combined with an englisch one. Some idiots might call it anglicism, but that's something different. Anyway, I am getting carried away.
So where was I , right, I am Star, I know shit, I do stuff, I annoy have proven repeatedly, that they are annoying and/or stupid. As well as persistent with these attributes and unwilling to self-reflect on them.
I was member of the well known vaQ' clan, we troll people. No that's not the griefer kind, but the South Park Season 20 kind. Because it is fucking funny.
My particular set of skill include chainsaw ass-fucks, grenade humiliation and flag-runs from and to hell. I can't shoot with the rifle, because I am not a binary thinking I like reissen, forge, siberia and mercury. No I don''t use cheats, never have, never will. There is no timer.
I am a respected gauth holder and don't hesitate to make use of it, if you are an unresponsive lagger ass-hole or some blunt cheater wimp. No I don't abuse it, despite the current rumours swirling around on the noob servers. I hate Mephisto for joining every last one of the 90 servers in the master-list 24/7 AND NEVER PLAYING ANY THING. 1.6mb!

I hereby promise, that I will answer honestly and to the best of my abilities every question that you might have, from basic cooking lessons, to quantum mechanics.
Please be patient with me, I don't posses a "real life" so it might take me lo answer.

Sup, I can do the reissen in 3sec. And You.

type /quit in gamechat

Yes i named it LAG, so that you idiots have a reference as to what i address this topic.

The Problem: There is a big lack of enforcing any fair play disturbing connection problem policy, going hand in hand with a lack of understanding what this problem actually entails.

I was just on the holy pasta server, where there were a couple of players with serious connection problems. 74 for example had a very stable ping, but his pj jumped all over the place, and hence his player model warped like the USS enterprise.
I don't think I have to point out the disadvantages for other players, when in such situations....

Ultron master admin didisan showed up and when I urged him, to do something about LAGgers, he mistakenly in his infantile foolishness, advised all 300+ people from Australia to literally 'FIX YOUR PING'... whilst letting warping flagrunners roam free.

I don't want to blame just didisan, although he is the worst admin I've come across since Dingo_Motherfucktino (yes cs4, i deny your existence here). I've seen multiple masters on the server doing nothing about LAGgers, who obviously take advantage of their connection (when being made aware of this, they respond with a dickish attitude).
Comparing this to the overcautious behaviour, the same admins display towards 'cheater suspects', which so often turn out to be veteran players, falling outside of the conceivable skill range of the present master, THIS IS INDEED A CONCERNING MASTERING PRACTICE FOR THE MOST POPULAR PUBLIC SERVER. Especially, because one can as well argue that intentional use of a faulty connection as being unfair play, which makes it EQUIVALENT TO CHEATING.

I'm fully aware, that many kids only believe what they want and that a faulty connection often isn't seen from the other side.
I'm not here to hear how poor those kids are and how they have to rely on wifi, because their 13 bedroom estate doesn't allow cable shafts to be drilled through the marble floors. I don't give a shit about them, I merely address the selective enforcement of the violation of fair play: WHICH IS SHIT.

PS: Note I'm not blaming GustavoTheGreat here, he does a marvellous job behind the scenes and I wouldn't want to play big daddy for all you kids neither. It's up to the rest of the masters, to educate themselves and change their mastering behaviour.

more analysis of my personality please. the amountains of informazi you haz about mine are lots

:D :D :D
gustavo nailed it

@Stub said in Application for Master:

DipShitStar Have good ping

bad/good ping doesn't make one a cheater

see here: http://pastaland.ovh/topic/298/nazi-parade-in-pastaland/43

LOL WHAT A TWAT

I CALL PBAN FOR AT LEAST 3 WEEKS

@Stub said in Nazi parade in Pastaland:

@Terence I am 57 years old. How old are you? / Мне 57 лет. Какой у тебя возраст?

SEEMS AGE IS NO REASON NOT TO ACT LIKE A CHILD WOULD

WAY YOU GO STUBBY,
COMBINING GAMING LAGS, WITH WARCRIMES , GENIOUS!

@13_Gods can you please rephrase your question?

@miu honest answer is that i don't really give a fuck. i was good in insta when i started out, but never that interested since i come from the good old 'more than one weapon' shooters.
How ever, I'd like to improve on my patience to stand my ground when fighting. I failed here, because the thing that draws me to good shooters, is the dynamics and the movement through the levels., which I pretty much perfected at this point. So yeah, I played the calm damager in my early days, but there were much better fraggers already in my team and so I became very naturally the guy who would exploit the evacuated corners of the map to get my team to victory. I now just give a shit about damage, seek the 'cool shot' more than persistent kills. It's not that I can't do this, I just choose not to. I remember a game not long ago, where @Bourbon said: "since when does star the most damage?" - It was efficctf forge and on this rare occasion, I had pleasure in killing more than getting flags. Still ended up with 5 of them in my pocket, noobs just can't win the game anymore.

@altcineva Don't say that! (despite it's the truth)

@Shag if you haven't noticed by now, this is it.

fragDog!

are you seriously this stubborn?
I TOLD YOU, JUST DO SOMETHING.

BECAUSE MY CLAIM IS : YOU ACTUALLY DON'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU DO, BUT SITTING THERE AND JUST LETTING ASSHOLES TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR RETARDED CONNECTION, ISN'T GOOD MASTERING PRACTISE.

HOW EVER, BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT THIS BY YOURSELF:

THINKS I DID WHEN I WAS MASTER CONCERNING CONNECTION PROBLEMS ARE:

• Speak to the person and point out their connection is wrong
• Tell them, that they can't play here with a bad connection
• Tell them, there is a guide on pastaland.ovh with things they could try
• Tell them, that if they will be removed from the game after the 5th admontion
• Remove them from the game if they aren't complying
• Remove them from the game if they are a dick about it
• Help them if they are utterly incompetent
• Tell them stop porn downloading
• Tell them stop torrents
• Tell them to use cable, not wifi
• Tell them to punch their stupid brothers/sisters in the stommach
• Tell them to stop youtube or other music streaming
• Tell them to stop streaming
• Tell them why it's important that they stop lagging
• Tell them not to take the flag when they lag
• Tell them they are assholes, if they act like a flying Fucks_Fucker
• Tell them, that warping around isn't considered a personal skill
• Spectate them first, if they don't respond at all (maybe because of language barrier)
• Tell others speaking the laggers language to tell them what is the problem
• Fight with LEO, to explain him why I kicked some resistant LAGGER
• Fight with TUNIX who immediately claims auth abuse on ANY KICK WHATSOEVER
• Insert the reason for the kick as: lagger
• Tell them, that their ping might be OK but their connection isn't
• Tell them again, that their ping might be OK but their connection isn't BECAUSE THEY FUCKIN WARP ALL OVER THE PLACE

... and the like...

honestly, it wasn't a problem for my reasonable thinking mind to come up with but one action.
you seem to be too stubborn to exercise your own mind, though. maybe you are a spoiled brat who gets everything fed with a silver spoon, maybe you are just utterly lazy, or maybe you get off on those discussions, without really getting the point, but still shouting like KINGKONG from the rooftops. I don't know, but:

YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY AN ADORABLE KITTEN WHICH GOT FUCKED BY AN ELEPHANT, WISHING IT WOULD GET POSTNATAL ABORTED *

*[this part might have been moderated and then rectified]

@cs4 said in What 's yo don't like about the game:

its too freaking open-source to keep cheaters out (hence masters/admins have 24x7 op-centre like monitoring shifts etc).

There are really just a few cheaters around these days... If we had kept Venice, they'd be all in one place and ICTF games would have been left alone.... but no, no no no .... SOMEONE HAD TO COMPLAIN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH and now we have this /dev/shit server and no more new players.... GJ 'WHOEVER' you WERE!!!